Derby Love!

Ladies and gentlemen, yes, its that time of year again. The time when people in relationships engage in ultra-cheesy romantic evenings and the single folk bitch or cry. Never having been a huge fan of either of those options, this year, a wonderful alternative has presented itself. My boyfriend will be spending Valentine's day working overtime. And i will spend it playing a derby game in Boston. Its a double header: the Montreal New Skids on the Block vs the Boston A team, and then the Montreal Sexpos vs the Boston A team (i apologize for not knowing the names of the Boston teams.) I hear the Boston girls are fantastic and our teams are going to be somewhat shorthanded, so I'm expecting this to be a tough game. I fully intend to put up a good fight. *puts up fists* I'm sooooo nervous/excited.

Best Valentine's plans I've ever had.

post-practice reflections

Every once in a while, a practice comes along that seems to focus specifically on your needs and desires. Yesterday was such a practice for me. Due to a miraculously limited amount of traffic on the roads last night, I was actually early for practice and therefore was able to participate in the off-skate warm-up. Once feet became skates, it felt like the gods were smiling down on me. We did suicides involving side-skating, backwards skating and 180s; all things I generally enjoy. Afterwards, we practiced hitting/blocking. First we did quick little control hits, alternating between being a target and a hitter. Secondly, we practiced finding the right time for the big hits. After that, we did some drills that involved communication, working with a partner and timing within the pack. And then, it was scrimmage time. Everyone loves scrimmage time.

I left the practice space with the wonderful derby-high that makes me fall in love with derby over and over again.

pre-practice jitters

I'm particularly nervous about practice tonight. I've been going to derby practice every week for 7 months now and I still sometimes get nervous. Not all the time. And usually its on days when I'm nervous that I end up having a great practice and on days when I'm super pumped that I end up having a tough time.

Sunday's team practice was great. We met up an hour before practice to go over some of the less obvious WFTDA rules and discuss strategy a little bit. And practice was great. I'm really starting to feel like part of the team. I've been working on quick burts of speed and I noticed some personal improvement. Once again, my lack of endurance kicked me in the face in wee bit, but I think my endurance is building up, slowly but surely.

waging war against physical limitations

As someone with some athletic history, it never occured to me that this would be so damn hard sometimes. As a youngin, people might tell you to keep up the regular physical activity otherwise your body will go to shit. And though I believed them, it never occured to me that it would happen so soon and that it would be so hard to fix it.

Yesterday, I was totally pumped for derby practice. I was overflowing with heart and determination. But my body let me down. The lungs infection being all gone, I figured I could just jump back on the track and pick-up more or less where I left off before my knee injury. I guess I knew my poor endurance would be a little bit problematic, but I didn't expect it to be as much as a hinderance as it was. There were simple drills that I found myself barely able to do. And the realization that heart and motivation were not going to be enough shook me to the core. It was so discouraging that I actually began to tear up and when someone asked me what was wrong, the tears kinda just took over. I guess I'm being a little hard on my body when I say it let me down. My body did the best it could. My mind let me down by having unrealistically high expectations. Tsk. Bad mind.

I wipped the tears and mascara away just in time to scrimmage. Being able to focus my mind on the jam at hand is the ultimate therapy. I jumped at every opportunity to be put back on the track, except when a jammer was needed. I'm no jammer. But versatility is a useful skill and I guess that being able to understand the pack from the jammer's point of view is useful as a blocker. So I jammed. And I struggled. And I didn't give up. And I somehow ended up lead jammer, mainly because the other jammer got a penalty but that doesn't diminish the sense of personal victory. After that jam, I threw myself on the floor saying "never again", but the truth is it was a good experience and I'd love to try jamming again soon.

This practice made it clear that I am not doing enough outside of derby to build up my strength and endurance. I also need to help my mind to understand that these things take time. I can't just jump into the shoes of awesomeness and expect them to fit. One day...

derby roadtrips and the cure for social anxiety

This weekend, the Montreal Sexpos hit the road to take on the Bytowne Blackhearts in Ottawa. I was originally supposed to play this game, but since I was sick for the better part of the month, I let someone less rusty take my spot on the roster. However, I did find myself a nice spot in the bleachers and yelled until my throat swelled and my lungs threatened to explode. It was great fun. And like any derby roadtrip is was both exhilerating and exhausting.

We got back into town around 4 yesterday. Which gave me about 45 minutes, after driving people home, to unwind on my couch before hopping back into my car and heading to team practice. My better judgment told me to cave into my exhaustion and just stay home, but having promised a ride to one of my teammates, I dutifully went to practice. And I did not regret it. For the first time since my lung infection, I was able to work myself to the bone without exploding into fits of coughing. Admittedly, my endurance has gone to shit from my lack of practice, so I got tired and therefore sloppy before practice came to an end. But when it all came to an end, I felt completely and utterly satisfied. I had worked hard. My pads were all drenched in sweat. And I imagine that mixture of adrenaline and self-satisfaction is like to how a superhero feels after a job well-done. The post-roadtrip social anxiety that I always feel after hours jammed into a car with an assortment of people had been obliterated by the beating I took on the track.

For a while, I was a little scared that, having been picked for a team, I'd disappoint my teammates. Being sick for a while did nothing to alleviate that fear. But yesterday, I had a moment of clarity during which all my fears vanished. I felt the potential lurking within me. Bits of it shone through. And I am determined to do everything in my power to help it reach the surface. Outlook: optimistic.