The realization that you've lost some of your skill in a certain area is always a depressing one. Over the past couple months, my struggle to find my groove post-concussion has hit wall after wall. The degradation of my physical conditioning after 4 months off skates set me back much more than i was ever willing to admit, thus making me more susceptible to minor injuries, lung problems and awkward aches and pains. I feel like I'm getting old too young. And the part of my subconscious that is most affected by my seratonin deficiency has suggested that maybe I should quit. I am presently outraged that that thought ever crossed my mind. Derby is my baby. I may not be a superstar at the moment, but that doesn't mean I can't have a ton of fun anyways. And then maybe my time will come.
My new skates haven't arrived yet. I ordered them over a month ago and I don't think they've even been shipped yet. My current skates don't breed confidence and my current wheels are on the cusp of death. So, I'm anxious about the arrival of my new skates. Soon soon soon, hopefully.
While waiting, I'm going to keep pushing myself hard and trying to find the joy in all aspects of the derby world.
