Season Over.

This Saturday, the Montreal Roller Derby 2009 season came to an end. La Racaille battled FDR for the title of champions. It was a tight game. It was a sportsman-like game. I guess I ought to explain that the FDR/Racaille rivalry is usually not a pleasant one. When these 2 teams duke it out, tensions have a tendency to fly high and bitchiness reigns supreme. Even in practices recently, tempers have exploded. But in order to finish the season off on good footing, both teams set asside all pettiness and showed up to play a clean, fun, fair and friendly game of roller derby. Both teams kept penalties to a minimum. Neither team left the arena as losers that night. With 52 seconds left in the game, FDR was up 15 points and La Racaille was determined to even the score. Iron Wench jamming for la Racaille and Lil Mama for FDR. Only moments after the jam begins, lil mama is sent to the penalty box. This plays out well for la Racaille as Iron Wench can now rack up a ton of points without much competition. And when the jam comes to an end, it is clear to the audience that Wench has accumulated a large amount of points, but was it enough to even up the score. The whole crowds waits with baited breath as the referees tally up the points and have them relayed to the score board. After which, Les Filles du Roi are declared 2009 champions. The final score: 100 - 97. Oh so close. Both teams played well. Both teams had fun. And both teams were able to celebrate well into the night. Farewell 2009 season.

Now its break time. Time for me to not stress about how post-concussive syndrome prevents me from playing and just chill. Just chilllin'.

giving up on my brains

As you may have guessed, my most recent attempt to return to skating was a failure. 1 hour on skates left me dizzy and with considerable brain pain. So I've given up on this season. There's 1 game left and i will not be playing. I've resigned myself to that fact (though somewhat reluctantly). And in order to make this whole ordeal bareable, I'm not going to any practice or roller derby related social events until the final game. I just can't take it. Its far too depressing. So, instead, I'm spending all my free-time with my non-derby friends. On Saturday, my team plays the championship game. La Racaille vs FDR. The Ultimate Showdown. And for that game, I will put on my game face and cheer on my team. Probably drink a ton. And hopefully my team will win.

WOOOHOO!

I'm gonna skate tonight! I'm gonna skate tonight! I'm gonna skate tonight! Do do doo do!

So psyched to get my skate on.

I'm also really pleased that I managed to go from total doubt/panic to mildy anxious to someone indifferent to kinda psyched to super-insanely pumped in just 3 days! That's right folks.

My head just decided to bring me back down to earth a wee bit by causing me a little bit of pain. And I guess that's a good thing because in my over-excited state, I could see myself easily deciding that I'm ready to get back into the full swing of derby thus preventing my head from ever healing. And that would be back. For the next while, I'm a skater, not a blocker. I will skate and skate and skate until my feet wheld themselves to my skates.

the first practice back is the toughest

I've been out of commission for a while now. My headaches are finally almost gone. So in theory I'm back to skating and will use my judgement to decide when I can jump back into contact. I wanted to go to yesterday's practice, but I just didn't make it. Anxiety built up inside me and to avoid dealing with it, I tried staying in bed for most of the day and eating comfort food. But both those things only made me feel worse. And by the time practice time rolled around, I had worked myself into such a bundle of nerves that putting my skates on would have made me vomit.

Its really hard to go back. I feel so severed from my team... Disassociated from the league, from the sport even. As much as I want to play the final game (in 3 weeks) and I think there's a good chance I may be healed enough to play without risk by then, I'm not sure I'll be ready psychologically. And I've let my body fall into disrepair a wee bit these past few weeks. I haven't gained a ton of weight and forgotten how to skate or anything, but I do feel a little soft.

However, I refuse to let anyone perceive me as soft. On Tuesday, I can't make it to practice. But Wednesday, Sexpos practice will be a good time to make my comeback. It'll be an awesome comeback. I'll be back with a vengence. My head was not in the right headspace yesterday, but I've got 2 days to fix my headspace. Then its comeback time!

the correct response was...

Not to scrimmage.

After my only contact practice, my headache only got worse and worse until it was unbearable and I had to go to the hospital. My lovely derby wife, Low-Dive Jenny, accompanied me because that's what derby wives do. Her presence was much appreciated as a waited to see a doctor. Doc says i'll live. Doc says I'm not brain-damaged or anything, I just returned to contact sports too soon for my poor concussed brain to handle. So, I need more time.

When the headaches subside at my rested state, I can go back to skating, but i'm going to have to wait a long time before I can do contact again. I'm going to pay extra special attention to my brain and be sure that I wait a good week or 2 after I feel like i'm in tip-top shape.

My team has a game tonight. Watching it and not being able to play is going to make me crazy. The after-party should be fun though.

To scrimmage or not to scrimmage

Last night, I participated in contact and hitting drills (woot!) and the result was a little dizziness towards the end of practice and a very short-lived headache afterwards. So now the question is: am i ready to scrimmage tonight? If I don't scrimmage tonight, the likelihood of my playing the next game is pretty slim. But if i do scrimmage tonight and my head gets jossled, it might exaccerbate things causing me to prolong my medical leave from the wonderful world or the roller derby.

I vote for taking things one jam at a time. I'll get myself good and warmed-up and then aim to be on the track for at least one jam. And if I'm feelin' good, i'll try for 2 jams... and so on.

another derby day

So I got medical clearance to resume my sporting activities and the I got a concussion related headache. So I've still got to be careful. I feel great though. At Sunday's team practice, since we engaged in a ton of hitting drills, I ended up doing a ton of endurance laps. I felt like death after just a few laps, but I kept on going and didn't give up and by the end of practice I felt as though I could have kept on skating all day long.

I haven't had any brain pain since Saturday, so I'm thinking tonight I'll stick with the no contact plan and tomorrow I'll remove the training wheels and launch myself back into the swing of things. I figure Sexpos' practice is a good time to do that. And if I get the slightest head pain, I'll stop. If no pain occurs, then i'll be scrimmaging on Thursday. Yay!